Going off for a vacation

I’ll be leaving, not quite on a jet-plane, but over seas to a tropical isle away from the reaches of technology.

Four days of relaxation, discovery and untold adventures.

I can’t wait till tomorrow.

In the mean time, I’ll see you guys when I get back.

Ciao!

On love and freedom

Happy 3rd month anniversary dearie!

On this occasion of the 3rd month leading a new life with my dear, I take aside some time to write on the revelations that love has given me.

And don’t worry, it’s not in the mould of “mushy joined at the heart, moving as one”, I’ll save those for someone special.

What inspired me was a particular idle, after-lunch talk with a friend one day. The topic revolved around one particular topic, love and relationships. It began as a discussion on the quality of girls in a certain hostel in a certain varsity in a sunny island of the equator, that progressed into a discussion the qualities of the girls you can find there. One thing lead to another and the topic veered into the territory of marriage.

“I want a wife who would stay at home, do up all the chores, and leave me free to find other flings.”

Friend said non-committally.

That was something that I did not agree with in the least bit.

How could someone entertain such thoughts? Isn’t the promise you will make when you marry inclusive of staying faithful and committed to one another?

(Before I proceed any further, I need to clarify some of my stances on the institution of marriage. I don’t believe that marriage is binding for marriage’s sake. In other words, I don’t believe going through the marriage unites the two hearts together. I believe in the power of the promise that two lovers make to each other on the altar that holds power over the rest of their lives.)

That being said, I felt it unethical to entertain thoughts of finding a wife just to take care of the households and wait on you. How was that different from hiring a maid? I mean, in my world, two people don’t go making vows just to have someone clean up the kitchen and raise the kids while you are at work.

Those, I believe are results of a union, that come from a need to raise a family, that stems from the promise of commitment to leading a life together.

The two parties have made a decision to thread this road together in a union. A union, regardless of its nature between two or more parties is always a matter of compromise and understanding. Family, friends, colleagues and which other forms of relationship that results in a union is all about compromises, it requires “give and take”.

I find that marriage is no different. Expecting a wife to be perfectly docile and condescending to the husband does not, in my books constitute a union. It becomes a demand. in this case, it is no longer a union between two willing parties, and devolves into a selfish ego-trip in that respect.

Love in my opinion must be between two parties who sacrifice and commit to each other. A couple, who through communication compromise to fit in their lives to raise each other up to greater heights than they could have ever achieved as individuals.

Ah, how I digress. Anyway, friend goes on to add that he understands the implications of his belief, but he thinks that the lifestyle he envisions gives him a freedom that “normal Singaporean men” do not have.

I felt very offended at that thought. He described the following scenario “where the husbands drive the kids around, wait on the wives hand and foot, and generally become a shadow of their former selves,” was to act as the platform for his argument that love was the end of freedom.

Let’s examine the freedom from his perspective.

True, that he has the freedom to flirt around and if lucky, bed a few of his flings. He is free to find a new one the moment that he find the present on boring or unattractive. He will not be obliged to restrict certain activities to just one partner.

And of course, freedom from my perspective.

Sure, you gain the freedom to move around the lady’s circle without any strings to hold you down, but I have freedom that he does not have. I have the freedom to put my heart at ease, knowing that there is a loving dedicated girlfriend there to support and talk to me. I am free in the knowledge that should anything happen to me, she will be there to kiss me and make it better.

You see, both views are talk of a freedom; it simply depends on how you view it. As I explain to people, and to friend, that I do not know which method is best. All I can do is to present the different perspective and perhaps my own view to help persuade and convince people of the merits of my system of belief.

Flirting around every night might appear fun and novel at the beginning, but the thing with flirting is that it leads nowhere permanent. The nature of a fling is that the relationship functions on a temporal level. There’s hardly any need or inclination towards stability. I mean honestly, they’re out there for a good time, and both parties should know it by now (I mean if they have had been at it long enough).

I find that emotionally taxing and difficult to sustain as a mode of living in the long term. Moving form one woman to the next, means having to accustom yourself to accepting a new person at every turn. Or, like most people in the “game” do, they fall into a certain routine. In short, the process of dating becomes an exercise in the skills of the playeur and his repertoire of tricks to impress the girls.

At the end of the day, being a playeur does not fulfill one spiritually. A playeur doesn’t search for the connection, the bond or the love. In a certain way, the one thing a playuer searches for is the satisfaction of the conquest. ‘Conquest’, that is temporal.

And as I’m headed off from here soon, I’ll leave it at here for now. =)

I realized I haven’t done much writing in the year 2009. Well, don’t worry, nothing has untoward befallen me, except maybe falling in love.

It’s true to a certain extent, that there is no art without angst, but I think being in a state of bliss produces a different kind of art, a type of art that doesn’t need to be seen by the whole world, an art that only has one audience.

I hope I’m not prattling on about some incoherent concept.

Anyways, thanks to a certain Mr. Neil Gaiman, this song is stuck on single loop in my head.

Jeremy Monteiro, Swinging in the Heartlands

On a balmy saturday evening, a group of lucky residents chased the heat-wave away with the refrains of cool, blue jazz. Serenading the heartlands with his own brand of jazz was Singapore’s King of Swing. He was at the Siglap South Community Centre for his “Swinging in the Heartlands” concert together with his band, Jeremy Monteiro & friends, made-up of Tama Goh (drums, Brian Benson (bass), Andrew Lim (guitar) and Shawn Letts (tenor sax). Jointly organised by the National Arts Council (NAC) and the Siglap South CC’s Indian Activities Executive Committee, the concert, held on the 25th of April is part of the NAC’s efforts to bring the arts to the people.

This performance marks Mr Monteiro’s return to perform in the heartlands, some 15 years since he last did. Mr Monteiro is no stranger to the East Coast, visiting friends and seeking out his favourite Laksa. Mr Moteiro was absolutely delighted by the reception the East Coast residents gave. They thrilled him with their enthusiasm, warmth and love, bobbing, snapping and clapping to pieces such as “Singapura” and “Mona Lisa”, just to name a few. Monteiro & Friend’s sublime performance even had guest of honour, Mr Chan Soo Sen charmed by the magic of jazz.

Mr Monteiro himself was full of praises for the audience. “I can really feel the warmth and love here. There was this connection between us [the band] and the audience, and we had this exchange going [between the audience and band].”

The King of Swing himself has some fond recollections of the East Coast, and recorded his own improvisations on the iconic “Di Tanjung Katong” and “Geylang Sipaku Geylang” on his latest album, Singapore Swing (Download the album online for free at www.mysingapore.sg). It is wonderful knowing that the East Coast inspires the arts, and to have the sentiment affirmed by none other than one of Singapore’s biggest musical icon is a testament to the magic of the area. When asked if he would be performing here again, Mr Monteiro beamed and said with a twinkle in the eye “definitely!”

He bulldozes a way

General annoyance with an undertaking that is incomprehensibly complicated, helmed by someone lacking in the communication department definitely kills any enthusiasm one might have secretly harboured.

Regardless of status, no manner of authority achieves any objective by wielding an unsightly sabre, and threatening the brandish it at every available opportunity. To quote verbatim, “If I come in, I will slice from every corner and bulldoze everything”.

Strong words filled with aggression, but lacking judgement or tact. These show of power serves to reinforce an image, but most of the time reinforces the laughable nature of the farce that is taking place.

The motives and rationale behind this project are obviously beneficial, yet its execution leaves much to be desired. Rather, the feeble attempts at maintaining a covert operation is a farce. The talk  of “fact-finding, not investigating” are empty words that mean nothing in the face of the increasingly deep probe into affairs.

I do not like the direction all this is proceeding in, and if in all honesty, if I have to make the decisions, then why do we need someone else to mirror and validate it? I’ll gladly accept half that officers pay and produce much better results in half the time.

That one post

In all my blog entries, there is one post that sends chills down my spine every time I read it. Ever so often, that particular entry would remind me of its existence, forcing a moment of reflection and contemplation.

“There’s is no good or bad. In conclusion, there only exists conviction and conception. It is all a matter of belief and mind. Do not be mistaken. There is no absolute.

I dislike people who try their means to coerce others into believing in their ideals. People are entitled to their own world, their own reality. Don’t go spoiling it for them. There is no greater sin on this earth than the act of forcing unto others a conformity.

Nationalism, piety, morals, law.

Controls inserted seemingly at random into society which run a seamless control system serving to protect the top level of society. The people who fear the emergence of radical bodies, people not unlike themselves, who in ages past rose against their predecessors.

People like me.

Poeple who refuse to take in their lies unquestioningly.

This will always form a never ending loop. The future will upsurp the past. That has and will always be an unchanging fact, and so, it is inevitable that the present will fear the potential of the future to remove them from their position of comfort.

They once fought the past, and now, they try to oppress the future.

It is futile.

For in the end, there is only Life and Death.”

Original Post

Back then, I questioned the need to put on facades, and resolved to throw away the masks that I wear. Two years on, and severely alarmed at the outcome that is in total contradiction of the resolution, I stand in bewilderment of the apparent irony of the current situation.

A little worse for wear, and extremely cautious of offending anyone is the Gavin of this age.

The rediscovery of this entry shall serve as a stark reminder of the frail balance between niceties and being contrived. That for my own sanity there has to be an extent to which I can be nice and room for me to be true to myself.

So in hopes of  positive change, this quote shall guide me along:

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr Suess

Dead Blog Alert

Ever since commencing this internship at Keppel Shipyard, I have been deprived of internet access during work hours. I find myself in a position of unease and annoyance, knowing full well that I am missing out on the news that happens while I am not watching for 12 hours.

It’s cruelty to someone who thrives on news and needs to be connected to carry out some of his works.

Watching the world go by a day at a time is almost alarming for anyone used to instant news. This catch-up game annoys me, and it deprives me of any chance to delve deeper into topics of interest.

So until I adapt to it, you can put a dead-blog warning on mine.

A new chapter begins

It has been a long intermission as the theory that there can be no art without angst comes closer to validation.

And in a manner of things that has come to be closely associated with my existence, it gets shattered in the blink of an eye. So what have I been preoccupied with? Nothing much, except the most wonderful person that I have had the chance to meet.

The inspiration changes and brightness dominates the once sullen, dark landscape. Just as the quality of the art transits from emotionally charged expressions to subtle inflexion.

I guess when you are in love, your perspective changes.

I hope mine has been a positive one, as only mi’lady shall know. Yes mi’lady, this particular entry goes out to you. =)

To live to fight another day or to die saving a life?

‘Polite’ Britons died on Titanic

More British passengers died on the Titanic because they queued politely for lifeboats, researchers believe.

A behavioural economist says data suggests Britons in that era were more inclined to be “gentlemanly” while Americans were more “individualist”.

<a href=”http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7843154.stm”>Read the full article here</a>

I read this a coupld of days back and I wonder if it’s better to survive through being individualist or die as a gentleman. If it was me of yesterday, with not a care in the world, I would certainly choose to survive. Yet at this point of time in life, I am inclined to think that faced with this particular choice, I would choose the path of the gentleman. I think that self-sacrifice for the lady of my heart is worth more than anything at that moment.

At least I hope that is the least I can do for my lady.

Many people would ridicule the absurdity of the sacrifice, but at the least one thing is for sure, that the sacrifice counts in the heart of the one who means the most to you.

To survive is no easy task, to choose death as payment for a gift of life is precious. Only the strongest will, the highest exercise of restraint, and a poignant display of chilvalry can produce this priceless gift.

Which way would you choose if you were on the Titanic?

Humility

If there is one thing I have learnt in the first 9 days of my Industrial Attachment, it would have to be humility. Observing the lives of the workers and yardmen, hearing the stories of the supervisors, and listening to the advice of the foremen, me, the new officer is left feeling overwhelmed by this whole new world that I have never fathomed.

The yardmen and workers, mainly foreign labour lead sparse lives that I tend to shake of as over-exaggeration. Their abject existence on the surface belies the emotions that must experience as human beings. Yet again, the supervisors always warn that the yardmen are always testing the senior staff, waiting for weakness to exploit.

The supervisors, the seasoned veterans and technical experts display wisdom and mastery of their craft that I profess, the yard connot do without. Together with the foremen, lead the men towards the completion of their tasks, and the culmination of their efforts is the finished product, the vessel.

I told myself, it would be not much different from the army. Well established lines of communication, and chain of commands, are concepts not foreign from a not too distant past. After all, 3 years removed from National Service is not very lengthy.

To say that I was wrong is very much an understatement. In the shipyard and on board the vessels, the dangers are real. Lives, limbs and families are at stake. Safety is paramount.

I wanted some field experience when I chose to sign up with the company, and that is precisely what I am getting, albeit at a much higher emotional cost than I had anticipated.